I used to feel broken and full but now I feel stable and empty.<\/p>\n
very simply put, I just realized how much I have changed over the past few years and honestly I don’t like who I am as much as the old me. I am in the “best” position I have ever been, good health, great mental health, low stress, and I would always like to improve but I am confident with my character. \u00a0I have improved in many ways but certain things I used to love about my life are out of reach both literally and metaphorically.<\/p>\n
I am sitting, realizing that I have fallen out of touch with a positive part of me that used to exist when I considered myself a broken individual. \u00a0That positive aspect amidst pain became my personal understanding of my identity. That’s gone and I don’t know who I am \u00a0As I sit and write this, my mind is being flooded with all of the highs and lows of the past 6 years and I’m sad thinking of how much of my previous life seems to not be a part of my current life. \u00a0At times, and if I could, I think I would relive my darkest days because they were constantly mixed into the happiest moments of my life.<\/p>\n
I know that tomorrow I will wake up unable to connect to the mood I am in now, a mood I have been wanting to feel for such a long time now. \u00a0In justification to myself of why I am writing this, I guess I hope that if I see this tomorrow I will remember the fact that who I was, can still be who I am, and that I guess what lies ahead is trying to mold together the past and present.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I used to feel broken and full but now I feel stable and empty. very simply put, I just realized how much I have changed over the past few years and honestly I don’t like who I am as much as the old me. I am in the “best” position I have ever been, good […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=222"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":246,"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions\/246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/caucasianasian.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}